This is a Public Service Announcement; Stop Pandering

Being offensive is a good thing. It allows us to discuss issues openly while trying to solve problems that we would otherwise be hesitant to broach. The other reason offense is a worthwhile endeavor? It stops you from engaging in pandering behavior; behavior that you only engage in to please others. While there is indeed a pandemic sweeping the globe, there is another pandemic causing problems in America; the problem of pandering politicians. Please, politicians, stop pandering. Not only is pandering insulting but most of the time you do not know what you are talking about and you come off sounding incredibly stupid and ignorant. Case in point, Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris and her husband pandering to Jews at the start of Hannukah

This video is exactly why we need to stop pandering. It is hard to describe how wrong every part of this video is; if you asked somebody to say something about Hannukah without them actually knowing the first thing about the holiday or Judaism, the above video is exactly what you would get. Hannukah is not about “the light, and bringing light” or some such nonsense. Hannukah is about war. “The Festival of Lights” is all about Jewish self-determination in their ancestral homeland and the fight to throw off the yoke of secularism. In modern terms, Hannukah is about Zionism.

Nor is Hannukah about Tikkun Olam. My G-d, please, politicians, stop pandering! Every line in this pandering and borderline idolatrous video is worse than the next. You are clearly using terms you know nothing about simply because you are trying to pander to Jews. Why? Why are you doing this? There is no reason to pander like this except to try and get people to like you. You are not doing anything productive here. In fact, you are doing a disservice to Jews worldwide by spreading falsehoods about the religion.

Stop Pandering; It is Perfectly Acceptable to Not Comment On Everything

Not only is this video an epic fail in pandering, but it is also a hilariously bad example of revisionist history. Jewish history is full of death, destruction, and despair. Hannukah–a minor holiday for Jews–is actually one of the few holidays where Jews come off as unrelenting badasses. The Maccabees were not practicing Tikkun Olam and trying to repair the world. Hell no. They were trying to fight back against a repressive government that was cracking down on their ability to practice their religion freely. And they were doing so against stupendous odds. Sound familiar Kamala and Joe Biden? No? The Little Sisters of the Poor, Masterpiece Cake Shop, and every religious establishment fighting back against lockdown orders would like a word.

The Maccabees were also not “fighting for the dignity of all people.” Nope, wrong again you putz. The fight was a specifically Jewish fight, being fought specifically for Jews so they could practice their Jewish religion in their Jewish homeland. The Maccabees did not give a damn about what other groups were doing. Much like the rest of Jewish history, these Jews simply wanted to be left alone, but when they realized it was not an option, these Jews decided to fight.

That is what Hanukkah is about. There was no thought of outward conquest, no desire to expand their power and sovereignty and bring dignity to others. This was a fight by Jews, and for Jews, with the specific desire to be left the hell alone in their Jewish homeland and temple.

The Pandering Pièce de Résistance

But this insanely blasphemous video could not end without one more showcase of blatant pandering and blasphemy. Not only are Kamala and Mr. Harris using the world’s most pristine and shiny Chanukkiah (that was clearly just bought for this video), but watch what happens to the shamash (the first candle) after it gets lit.

Did you catch it? Let’s go Zapruder film on everybody for a second and slow it all the way down. Pay attention to the flame.

Yup. The flame of the shamash went out. The flame dwindles and juuuuust as it is about to extinguish, poof! The flame magically comes back strong. Seriously (notice the location of Mr. Harris’ hands pre and post jump cut). So not only did you make a video pandering to Jews about Hannukah–a holiday you proved you know almost literally nothing about–but you screwed up the actual lighting ceremony! You had to stealth edit the video of lighting the Chanukkiah!

Of course, any Jew would also point out, “ummm, where are the prayers?” That’s right. In total: Kamala Harris and Mr. Harris went out of their way to create a video where they failed miserably to actually explain the purpose of Hannukah, they botched the lighting of the shamash and then, the pièce de résistance, they did not recite any prayers during the lighting ceremony. That is why people–and specifically politicians–need to stop pandering; not only do they look abundantly stupid when doing so, but they are also insulting the people they are pandering to, and–in cases like this one–actually committing blasphemous acts. Schmucks.

*Editors Note: Yup, I spell the holiday “Hannukah” in English and the special candelabra (menorah) a “Chanukkiah.” Welcome to the foibles of transliterating Hebrew to English.